TOP 10 WORST COVER SONGS EVER!

and how are we today sweet sirs and madames? the weather here in the lee valley is appropriately dismal…rained all night and then all day as Mr.Tchoky would sing…what else is to be expected from the emerald isle? we are used to it at this stage…so used to it in fact the irish are in danger of growing gills and pouting off into the ocean..ahhh…but wouldnt we mind some sun to warm the cockles…we needs a holiday I think…but less about them gripes for now…we must move swiftly onwards to this weeks TOP 10…and in keeping with the gripey mood I shall go with a WORST EVER type blog…keep it dismal…recession, depression yadda, yadda…this week we look at the TOP 10 WORST COVER SONGS EVER!…so bad are these covers it raises doubts over the evolution of the human race…it also raises the question of when a cover is actually a good cover…we can look at them next week maybe…but for now
(* adopts David Attenborough voice) we must study these monkeys, their habitats and why they choose to shit all over the things we cherish most

1.Take That – Smells Like Teen Spirit

no….no, no….no fucking no…get away from it…get away…fuck no

2. G4 – Creep

hmmm…missing the point much….this is just creepy

3. t.A.T.u – How Soon Is Now

quite rightly, Smiths guitarist Johnn Marr, found t.A.T.u.’s version “just silly” ….inexplicably Morrissey considered it magnificent…helium filled chipmunks singing “so i go and i stand on my own, and i leave on my own, and i go home and i cry and i want to die”…poor chipmunks

4. Jessica Simpson – Take My Breath Away

jessica simpsons exists for some reason…i have yet to put nary a finger on it but im sure il crack it one day…this song is bearable due to the fact that there is a strange lad singing over it in the clip above…jajajajajajajaja

5. Celine Dion and Anastasia – You Shook Me All Night Long

im not sure which is worst…a middle aged woman hopping along on one heel whilst playing air guitar Anastacia over sing her way through this dirge and drivel…

6. Hilary Duff – My Generation

…Hillary and her hilariously accurately chiseled head thought it a good idea to change the lyrics to this masterpiece…”I hope i DONT die before i get old”…she sang..in case any of the children misunderstandeded…do we really need these people swimming in the gene pool?…ah i suppose we do

7. Ronan Keating – Fairytale of New York

Ronan ye fookin fairy..whats this about? sung with all the conviction of a windy pillow

8. Britney Spears – ( I Can’t Get No ) Satisfaction

hey….another poor chipmunk! ye guys should hang

9. Duran Duran – 911 is a joke

ive a good idea, lets make like a socket fingering necrophiliac and dig up old classics and rape them

right…thats enough dismay…..i could only get far enough to give you 9…it was too disturbing for me…there may be some psycological damage…im off for a swim in a puddle for a while…next week…good covers……………ugh