TOP 10 WORST DUETS…EVER

good things come in twos…handcuffs, windshield wipers, crutches,kidneys, class of 1984…..right, cheeky enough to include ourselves in there….but hey its our blog after all….good things come in twos and when in relation to the dreaded duet one has 2 options…shit or bust…more oft its bust…..the duet lends itself to too much corn, cheese and just plain silliness…here’s a wee compilation of my TOP 10 WORST DUETS…EVER…compiled from a such a wealth of salty unadulterated balls i feel i may have to shower after finishing it…

1. You Shook Me All Night Long – Celine Dion and Anastacia

anyone who follows my blog will know that this song has appeared on more than one list…this is embarrassing stuff…air guitar in heels is wrong…air guitar in anything but your underpants and white socks is wrong….and the idea of celine dion in underpants and white socks might driveyou insane

2. The Girl is Mine – Michael Jackson ft. Paul McCartney

“paul…i think i told ye…I’m a lover not a fighter”….you will shudder

3. Ebony and Ivory - Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney

Saccharin is an artificial sweetener…it has effectively no food energy and is much sweeter than sucrose…it is used to sweeten products such as drinks, candies, medicines, toothpaste and post Beatles McCartney songs

4. 4 Minutes – Madonna and Justin Timberlake

The SS became the core of Nazi terror apparatus, ran the concentration camps and by about 1936 assumed control of the entire terror apparatus….Justin Timberlake has about as much soul as SS officer….lovely Timbaland heartless headache inducing produce…maddonna go away…all involved reflect on your life

5. Dancing in the Street – Mick Jagger and David Bowie

“camera pans up, ok. david, youl be up there hopping around in your baggy leopard skin thingy” mick , you just stay good and wrinkly. wel add some slow mo. the whole thing will be brilliant…jesus…this video was shot in a day and it shows…as for the song…it just doesn’t work….Dancing in the streets after gay sex is declared legal in India btw….bout time

6. Our Lips Are Sealed – Hilary and Haylie Duff

hey? theres a haylie?…i doubt it….theres enough auto tune and pitch bending here to loose momentary bowel control…you cant actual decipher who is singing what…but every now and then you can almost hear there real voices underneath it all saying “your mother sucks cocks in hell”

7. I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Bono and Frank Sinatra

bono should remain under his skin…his foreskin….his great big giant bell bellheaded schlong…a man with an ego that big though i fear may be lacking in that department

8. Cruisin – Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis

Smokey Robinson doesnt have shit on Gwyneth…why didnt she ever sing with her husband…that other dreary drivel headed save the world types?

9. Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat – Opposites Attract

is it possible to sell out to an animated character? is it possible to take this stuff too seriously? “look Jon, its paula abdul and an animated cat for the benefit of MTV. did you really expect anything less?”…breath in….happy place

10. Bjork feat Thom Yorke

I’m sorry dear reader…so repugnant was this blog that i had to disinfect it with at least 1 GOOD DUET…this from Icelandic songstress Bjork and her secret fancy mr Yorke……ah…happy place