I usually tend to make up lyrics and ascribe meanings to songs that dont exist…it suits my mental make up you see…for example “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette…didnt everyone sing “It’s not fair to deny me of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me.”?…and imagine a wizened old rag of a bear that some pissed and scarred partner stole back off a former girlfriend having given it to her for valentines day years before?….no?…hmmm…its ye that are mental
1. Nirvana – “Polly”
Innocent minds beware: NOT about a parrot eating a cracker…
Correct Meaning: female rape victim from Tacoma, Washington. The girl, 14, was abducted in 1987 while returning from a punk rock show, and was raped and tortured with razors and a blowtorch by her abductor Gerald Friend
2. R.E.M. “The One I Love”
Innocent minds beware: NOT to be requested for your girlfriend on valentines day
Correct Meaning: Stipe sings “a simple prop to occupy my time”…more appropriately requested for your vibrator on valentines day…
2. The Police – “Every Breath You Take”
Innocent minds beware: slow dancing and wistful tonguing back of school shed…dont mention P Diddy puff paddy whatever
Correct Meaning: state-run stalking…think Orwell…think big Brother…think 1984 *note to self: nice plug
3. Jesus and Mary Chain – “Some Candy Talking”
Innocent minds beware: Ah its Jesus and Mary Chain…itl be about Heroin so
Correct Meaning: officially it may be the only song they have NOT about drugs…hmmm..what were they taking when they wrote that?
4. Lou Reed – “Perfect Day”
Innocent minds beware: NOT to be used as an inappropriate Children in Need cover
Correct Meaning: heroin addiction
5. John Lennon – “Imagine”
Innocent minds beware: its about peace and all the lovely children and daisy chains
Correct Meaning: Communism…….no religion, no possessions, no countries, no war…last stage of Communism my friends…dont believe me? Lennon said of the song “virtually a Communist Manifesto”
interesting fact: inexplicably included on a list of songs banned from the radio following 9/11 attacks…the 2001 Clear Channel memorandum…jesus…“Aeroplane” by The Chillies? yeah I get that..but “Imagine”? cmon
6. Neil Young – “Hey Hey, My My”
Innocent minds beware: hey dude, its better to burn out than fade away man
Correct Meaning: Young was washed out himself at the time…he wasnt being defiant…more observant of his own poor record sales at the time
7. Bob Dylan – “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35″
Innocent minds beware: Dude Dylan sayin “Everybody must get stoned”
Correct Meaning: you can get physically stoned?…as in “ow!” stoned? dude we got to stop smoking this stuff
8. The Kinks – “Lola”
Innocent minds beware: simple love song
Correct Meaning: Transvestite..written by front man Ray Davies about the band’s manager and his drunken late night dancing with a drag queen
9. The Beatles – “Please Please Me”
Innocent minds beware: “Shut up everyone! this is our song!”
Correct Meaning: oral sex
10. Nirvana – “Drain You”
Innocent minds beware: Cobaine wrote it? ah itl be about heroine so
Correct Meaning: actually about a case in which one twin baby stole the nutrients from its twin while in the womb, resulting in one stillbirth…see its easy to get mixed u…eh? cmon Kurt!
bonus to not give a fuck about:
Maroon 5 – “Harder to Breathe”
Innocent minds beware: in fact just beware…this is a fucking awful band
Correct Meaning: what do you expect from Levine and his band of soulless cock merchants…troubled romance? actually inspired by record company pressure to write more singles…fuck off Adam
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