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Author Archives: jon
what are you meteor?
what are you meteor? the demon cometh…in the shape of evil tan locust named Amanda Byram…what strange underling?….to do the bidding of the meteor……presiding over the great event…the great rubbing of each other in their special places…… why wont the fucking lazy hacks with their 2 pence masturbate us?….why wont amanda byram slap our fucking [...]
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Valentines Hangover
how are thee?
new tuneless tomfoolery to fill yer pricked doe ears…and let spill all the waves of thankless endeavour from our veins open unto you…forever to you dear listener….this song is called “Nice To Meet You” ..and isnt it just?…if you are one of the legions of swarming sycophants eager to bray for us or [...]
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I Hate Fucking Mondays
fucking mondays……proudly revelling in the fact you plied yourself with enough alcohol to power a lawnmower? me too…old bob geldof once asked “tell me why i dont like mondays” Il tell you old bob…because every monday, every brain numbing FM radio station with a brain numbing humourless disk spinning monkey will play that brain numbing [...]
Posted in Blog, new songs 11 Comments
Top 10 Most Misunderstood Songs of All Time
I usually tend to make up lyrics and ascribe meanings to songs that dont exist…it suits my mental make up you see…for example “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette…didnt everyone sing “It’s not fair to deny me of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me.”?…and imagine a wizened old rag of a bear that [...]
Posted in Blog, Top 10 Things 3 Comments
Mulled cider and thermal underpants
another day…another song…this one from the bowels of our fair hearts…its called “Believe Me”….and even James gets his voice on this one…or more accurately his abysmal impression of some incontinent whiskey soaked blues man…nevertheless we think its great…and conveniently we think you might to…
recorded during the winter freeze of last Christmas…wrapped in woolly hats and [...]
The hoes they wanna fuck
….when you sell like Eminem of course…or have guns hanging out of your anus…i was set and meant to compile a list of worst lyrics…and many a beautifully beastly lyric there are…many more there will be…grammatical cohesion be damned…we’re either inventing our own language…step up Mr Stipe “Leaving was never my proud”…hmmm…or being dangerously infantile…step [...]
Jim Morrison was a drunken buffoon…
dear Sirs/madames
so we penned a new song today…this one called “Thats Where Its At”…and bristling it be with the very dead soul of Jimbo Morrisson…of the dirty blues variety….LA Woman we had on the old record scratcher you see…a young broken soul sitting on a toilet…swigging a bottle of Jack D…and singing songs about being [...]
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New Song “Guess Again”
nother newbie…..”Guess Again”….an interesting one…because lyrics are actually comprehensible…ageing generation X….reminiscing about times past…sitting in apartments…swallowing pills…listening to classics….Iron Maiden and Judas Priest…i can see that person in my head…something of that kind…its still a rawish number in me opinion…but christ il have me some raw
….and it was recorded to busted pro tools…half wrapped in [...]
Top 10 Worst Songs of the Decade
Whilst sitting here, pondering the common woes of my musical brethren, i look back over the past decade and consider compiling a Top 10 Worst Songs of the Decade list….and I fantasize about the many ways I could perform a lobotomy on Paris Hilton….or eye gouging James Blunt…or both….As I slooshied, I knew such lovely pictures!…but those pictures were [...]
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Smithereens